The Company
They did not audition. They were simply here.
The Original
Anchor. Straight man. Possibly sentient.
Gerald has been with the Shack longer than anyone can remember, including Gerald. He does not discuss his origins. He does not discuss much of anything, actually. He simply sits there, looking vaguely disappointed, and somehow that is the funniest thing in the room.
"I didn't say anything."
Missing Since 2003
Founder. Visionary. Gone.
R. built this place. R. named it. R. left a note on the corkboard in 2003 that said "Back in 20 minutes" and has not been seen since. The note is still there. We have not moved it. We are not sure we are allowed to.
"Back in 20 minutes."
He Was Already Here
Comedian. Uninvited. Recurring.
No one booked Kilroy. No one has ever booked Kilroy. He simply appears at the start of each show, does three minutes of material that was probably funny in 1974, and then stands in the corner for the rest of the evening. He seems content. This is somehow worse.
"Is this thing on? It's on. I know it's on."
A Two-Man Act (One of Whom Is a Chicken)
Comedian and straight man. The chicken is the straight man.
Danny Fry has been doing this act for eleven years. The Chicken has been doing this act for eleven years. Neither of them will say how they met. The act involves Danny asking the Chicken questions. The Chicken does not answer. Danny explains what the Chicken meant. The Chicken's expression does not change. Audiences find this either hilarious or deeply unsettling. Sometimes both.
"The Chicken has a point."
She Has Notes
The talent. Self-described.
Margo arrived with a rider. The rider was three pages long. It specified the temperature of her dressing room, the brand of sparkling water, and that no one was to make eye contact with her before 9pm. We do not have a dressing room. We gave her a folding chair behind the curtain. She has not acknowledged this compromise. She performs anyway. She is, infuriatingly, very good.
"I've worked with better. I've also worked with worse. You're somewhere in the middle."
Nobody Knows
Unknown. Possibly experimental.
Kook does not have a bit. Kook does not have a character arc. Kook walks out, does something that cannot be fully described in writing, and walks off. The audience is always silent for about four seconds afterward. Then someone laughs. Then everyone laughs. We have never been able to explain this. We have stopped trying.
...
The Spelling Is Intentional
High energy. Possibly too much energy.
Krazy Nate was supposed to be a one-time bit. That was six years ago. He keeps coming back. He has more energy than the rest of the cast combined. He has opinions about everything. He shares all of them. He once did a forty-minute set about the correct way to fold a paper bag. It was a forty-minute set. People stayed.
"WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. Okay. Okay. So—"
The King. Also a Black Belt.
Performer. Martial artist. Philosopher.
Karate Elvis does not explain himself. He enters to music. He performs three karate moves. He sings one verse of a song — never the same song twice, never a song anyone recognizes. He bows. He leaves. The crowd always applauds. No one has ever asked why. It would feel rude.
"Thank you. Thank you very much. Hiyah."
Not That One. This One.
The one who has it together. Allegedly.
Barbie is the most put-together member of the cast. She has a five-year plan. She has a backup five-year plan. She has a color-coded binder. She is also a puppet in a satirical comedy show, which she acknowledges with a smile that suggests she has made peace with the contradiction. She has not made peace with the contradiction.
"Everything is fine. I'm fine. This is fine."
The Puppet Shack Baby is not responsible for any philosophical crises triggered by prolonged exposure to the cast.